he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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