she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
