yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
