dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
