Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
