Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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