So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
