I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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