maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
