Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize