Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
