"it" just moved
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
