woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
ok first of all what the fuck
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