Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize