My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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