I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
