how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
