The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So much rum. So many feels.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
