better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
