i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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