i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
