I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
