either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
