Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
