i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
