You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
