Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
