Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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