My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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