i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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