Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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