with your own penis?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
