ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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