oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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