Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
