he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
