Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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