there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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