Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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