Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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