dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
