We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize