omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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