WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
