So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
