It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
