he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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