Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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