so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
