Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize