do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
