some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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