thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
