She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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