WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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