Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
