if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
