): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
