If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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