You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
