i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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