it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
