im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
