I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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