Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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