I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize