Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
