Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Congratulations! We have a period
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