Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
