C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
