yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
